The competition

While almost all our competition at the races are really solid, fast riders, there are a few things to note about them:

1) Arrival at the race is the most critical fashion statement, and the area where Euro cyclists really separate themselves in terms of style. The critical items are a velour or nylon tracksuit from a prominent Euro fashion house, a Euro-mullet or fauxhawk hairdo, jewelery, and a little rolly-wheeled airport suitcase from a prominent Euro fashion house. Of course, many of these items look somewhat suspect because the typically emerge from an aging Fiat obviously purchased by the rider's parents in 1994.

2) Very few people arrive at the race by themselves or with teammates. Instead, there is always the "entourage" surrounding each rider. This must include: dad, grandpa, grandma, various aunts and uncles, and the girlfriend. Dad pins the numbers on the jersey, grandpa and grandma stand around, uncle pumps the tires and checks the bike, and the girlfriend talks on her mobile. While this is going on, the racer sits in a little folding chair and tries not to let the breeze disturb his euro-mullet.

3) Leg lacquer is a critical component of race-day preparation. Every bike shop has 3-10 different kinds of oils, butters, and creams to apply to your legs to make them shed rain, shine, and look tanned. This is applied just before the race either by the rider or the girlfriend while the rider is sitting in the little folding chair.

4) While we can't even match our jerseys and shorts because it was too expensive to have matching bib shorts printed for only 1 month over here, literally every rider that you see has matching: jersey, shorts, socks, gloves, arm warmers, leg warmers, warm-up long sleeve, and most importantly, little wool beanie to wear before and after the race instead of a helmet.

5) After the race, riders always proceed immediately to the showers (which every race has, amazingly enough), and get cleaned up (i.e., re-style the fauxhawk). Then they re-emerge to pick up their race winnings and be fawned over by the entourage.